Why I Now Sympathize With Britney Spears

I can't go into details, but let's just say that thanks to a certain work project I did a while back that involved an extremist group, my personal safety has recently become an issue and my company has decided to provide me with security. Although I managed to convince the powers-that-be here at the office that I do not need a 24-hour bodyguard, I was unable to stop them from posting a surveillance agent outside my back door. I'm not kidding -- there is a huge, armed man that sits in an idling SUV outside my condo each and every night from 6 p.m. until 8 a.m. While I suppose that this should comfort me and make me feel secure, it's actually a little creepy to be watched all the time, and I don't like getting shined in the face with a flashlight every time I get out of my car or take out the trash. Even worse, it has been "strongly suggested" that I not go anywhere alone, which means I now have no personal freedom -- if I want to go to the grocery I have to wait until Garron is available to escort me. (Thank god for Peapod at least!) After dealing with these relatively minor security measures, I can only imagine how Britney Spears must feel with people watching her every move round the clock. I gotta say that I am much more sympathetic to her plight these days. In fact, it now makes sense why she married K. Fed and has generally been acting so disgusting -- she is probably hoping that she'll drive away all her fans and thus be left alone. Poor, poor thing.